2013

How do you measure a year in the life?

Well, I will say a good place to start is Love. I have experienced all kinds of love in 2013. I’ve experienced the love of my dear mother, my brothers, their wives, and their precious children. I’ve watched husbands and wives love each other in a way I hope to one day share with my husband. Yes, that’s right; I still think I’d be okay getting married. I’ve watched parents love their children so much that it hurt me at times, especially when watching them figure out how to let go of those children much, much too soon. I can’t imagine the pain that comes with that kind of love, although I do hope to experience it one day. I’ve experienced the love of friends- new friends and old friends, and am so blessed by the people that God has placed in my life. The biggest love I’ve experienced is the love of my Savior; the heart-wrenching, knee aching, jealous, unrelenting, forgiving, gracious, merciful love of my Savior. I have seen Him show who He is to me through the aforementioned loves. I have felt His loving kindness in my heart on days when I felt like no one cared. I have experienced His grace by forgiveness I do not deserve, despite the fact that I continue NEEDING that forgiveness. I have felt His love for me in my darkest nights when horrible memories creep up and threaten to steal my joy. I have heard His still small voice patiently whispering comfort when I still ask Him why my Dad had to go so soon. Now that I think about it, everything else that happened in 2013 doesn’t seem nearly as important as the love.

The love I’ve experienced this year has helped me grow as an individual. It sharpened me in times when it was not so welcomed, but much needed. It helped me work through some difficult things that have happened to me and to find forgiveness despite myself. It has driven out fear that stemmed from difficulties. It taught me to be myself again- to show love and allow myself to receive love. It allowed me to open myself up and allow people to know me again and to give love. It showed me how to let go of hurts and betrayals and to pray for my enemies, which in turn helped me to love my enemies. The love I have experienced this year has helped me grow as a person and express myself better. Most of all, the love I’ve experienced this year has helped ME to love bigger and better. So, to say that you could measure a year in my life by love, I would call that blessed. Happy New Year, friends! I wish you a good time of reflection of 2013 and a wonderful beginning of 2014.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

INFJ

I did the Myers-Briggs personality test again today. I am an INFJ, still. 1% of the population shares this with me. I think I keep taking this test in the hopes that I will begin to become part of the majority if I try hard enough. But why? As I go about my business of being a 30 year old who still doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up, I, believe it or not, take comfort in the fact that I'm different. There are not that many people like me. That's pretty awesome. God created me to be an individual and He apparently really keyed in the individual portion when He made me. How amazing is that realization? So, I'll go about my merry way and continue trying to live to the best of my abilities. I want to be excellent. I want to teach people. I want to share my passion and help people FEEL what I feel about social justice. I want to show God's love to people in a way that communicates His love IN love. I want to change the world. And, my friends, you might not believe me...but I will.
Love.