What Doesn't Kill You...

The phrase, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," is a good, true phrase. HOWEVER, when I'm in the situation and it's currently feeling pretty darn sorry, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it when I'm in tears after having my character ripped apart by a person who does not like me and another who does not know me. It is always said with the intent to help someone feel better, but I'm sorry, it NEVER does. Looking back, I can see where situations where I thought something might kill me DID, in fact, make me stronger. BUT, don't expect a good response if you tell someone this in the heat of a moment. I have grown exponentially, however, in that I did not snap at the person who said it to me in this situation today.

I did have a poor, pitiful me kind of day. I wonder how I can stay late and help people when it's not my job or my area, encourage those who I feel are having difficult times, and at the very minimal level, do my job and STILL not do anything right. I cried at work, which is something I haven't done in AGES and felt incredibly FOOLISH doing so. But, I love people. I love the Lord. I want both of those things to show, and by and large I'm told it is apparent. It's AMAZING how TWO people out of a massive amount of people can completely ruin my thought process and mess with my head regarding my capabilities. I take the comments from people that don't know me and don't like me and I personalize it to the point that I just KNOW everyone else feels that way. I know this is not so, but today I believed it. I believed the devil's lies and I let him completely ruin my day and most of my evening. I cannot DO this anymore. I'm letting him win when I do. God knocked me upside the head this evening- and reminded me that I feel weak right now, but in my weakness He is made strong, which is way better than me even at my strongest. THAT, my friends, should be more than enough for a lifetime of comfort. I'm praying that I let it be enough and stop being my own worst enemy. 

Love.