So small...

I was listening to my "Country Women" playlist tonight, don't hate, on my way home to see my family from work. Since today is my actual birthday something just felt wrong not coming home to see my Mom. Anyways, I digress. I was listening to Carrie Underwood's song "So Small." It's a great song, and I find it to be true, like many songs I listen to, in my daily life. A snippet that hit me pretty hard tonight:

"It's so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time; it's like a river that's so wide, it swallows you whole. While you're sitting 'round thinking 'bout what you can't change and worrying about all the wrong things; time's flying by, moving so fast. You better make it count cause you can't get it back. Sometimes, that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand. And what you've been out there searching for forever is in your hand. And when you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small!"

I mean, seriously, it's amazing how a simple song can carry so much weight and hit so close to home. My dad used to always tell me, "If you can change it, change it. If you can't, don't worry about it. No use wasting that pretty smile on a frown, or that wrinkling that pretty forehead. One thing at a time, baby." He knew me better than anyone in moments like that, because he could see that I had taken the weight of the world on my shoulders, quite literally. I get lost in problems more often than I would like to admit; my own and others'. I have a fickle heart. I run from people that make me want to stay for fear of rejection down the road. I have small faith. I have seen the Lord work miracles in my life and my friends' lives time and time again, yet I still have the ability to freak out about things. How does that make Him feel? To constantly prove Himself to be faithful to take care of me only to have me doubt the next time around? What's amazing is that He loves me...and He takes care of me, even when He knows I'm full of doubt; that He has to help me in my unbelief. My friends love me. My family loves me. In one day, I had a new friend call me amazing, another dear old friend tell me that I'm a vessel of grace and peace, another still tell me I had a fierce heart, and still another tell me that I deserved a wonderful birthday because I had a caring and giving heart. It's AMAZING to me that people see these things in me- that I am such a mess and yet am incredibly loved! I am humbled by that love, and sure do hope to make my friends feel as good as they make me feel. I am so, so blessed. I am who I am because of the people that I'm blessed to know and love through the grace of Jesus Christ...each and every one of you. Thank you loves.