I'm not ready to make nice.

Forgive, sounds good...forget, I'm not sure I could. They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting.

I have a new life. I have moved on, no doubt about it. But, who do you think you are...no sir, I will not ever talk to you again. I meant it when I said that. I am happy. I am free. I am learning to love again and let people in, and you will not ruin that. It's like that song by good ole T. Swift- "Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight. Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why.......You'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand, and I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can.......I took your matches before fire could catch me so don't look now; I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."

I recognize those are random lines from the song patched together but those are the ones that stick out to me as characteristic of that time of my life. I allowed a person to dictate the way that I felt. I walked on egg shells. I apologized for things that happened when I was the one who deserved the apologies. It blows my mind to look back on that time to see how much of a shell of Leah I was. I'm sure it horrified my mom and brothers. I was broken...bruised...beaten down. The life in my eyes and behind my smile was gone. So, no, sir...you will not call me and try to talk to me, or text me, or contact me at all. I have moved on from you. I'm happy. I'm where the Lord wants me to be with the right people...ones who build me up and don't tear me down. Sure, I've forgiven you. But, that's it. You don't get anything else from me. Thank the sweet Lord for helping me release all of that when I did. He's good like that.

"I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons,
Finally content with a past I regret.
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness,
For once I'm at peace with myself.
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long.
I'm moving on.
I'm moving on,
At last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know, there's no guarantees but I'm not alone.
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by.
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone!" RF